Not a cinnamon roll nor a gambling roll of dice, but on a roll with a lot to say. I had some time today when my two year old to nap and my five year old kept herself busy within earshot of me to get some writing done. To me it feels good to write. My husband often jokes at my phrases and how I talk because words come out jumbled because I talk too fast. My mind is often going a million miles per minute with thoughts and I struggle to speak coherently in a conversation. My sentences often come out messed up and confusing, at least to my husband. Being home with the children during the day I do not have as many outlets for communicating with peers as I did when I was working. Now that most of my friends are back to work after spending their children’s formative years home, I spend my days in solitude (minus the company of my two youngest).
In the ten years I have been a stay-at-home mom I have matured and changed a lot in my personality, thought patterns, and communication patterns. For the majority of my time home I was surrounded by a strong network of friends. We called ourselves the playgroup and met weekly with our children in each other’s homes. There were a core group of six-seven of us mother’s and by the end of the playgroup era there were twenty-nine small children. I was blessed with daily communication on the phone and weekly fellowship within our homes.
Sadly, the time came for most of the mother’s to return to work except for the remaining three of us who are still home. However, life has taken on us all on twists and turns in our lifestyle. A few of us have moved and our lives are just different now. These women were (still are) some of my best friends, mentors, and confidantes.
These days I have more time to myself during the day. I have more activities and responsibilities to occupy day. My perspective has shifted in that I consider it less important to have constant companionship during the day and on a regular basis. Before I was so new at parenting a baby and handling toddlerhood, that I needed that companionship to help me survive. I learned a lot during those years from my friends.
Now I have matured and feel more confident in the parenting of my children. With more time to myself I have become more comfortable and stronger in my thoughts and my views on many different things.
I am hoping this blog allows me an outlet for some of those thoughts.