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How to engage your child in meaningful conversation: 15 unique questions to ask your child

These days I look at my delightful thirteen year old daughter and realize how much she has matured and grown into a beautiful young lady. Long gone are the days when she used to have me carry her around and play dolls with her. Of course, she still plays with Barbies on occasion and on her own accord still sits on my lap, but she is growing up. She can entertain herself these days and often can disappear into her bedroom for hours reading a book. Before these years slip away I have had to make a daily mental note to engage her in conversation with me. Deeper conversation than what we would have the dinner meal or in passing. And with six children I have to be constantly on my toes and take advantage of any time with her or the others I can.

Typically,  I always ask my school aged children “how was your day” or “what made your day great”, or “what was the worse part of your day”, or “how were kind to somebody today?” However, there is not much substance in those questions and while they provide great and often amusing answers, I long for a deeper connection with my children. Just ask them and they will tell you that “Mom talks to much”. I want more than yes’ and no’s.

If you are looking for some great conversation starters with your children, I have provided some great ones below.  Use them as a basis for launching a conversation, but make the conversation your own. Let it flow where it may.  Dig deep past those yes or no answers. Asking your child(ren) questions shows that you are interested in them as a person. It can make them feel respected, which can go a long way for improving their self-esteem.

These are some questions you can ask that will engage your child in meaningful conversation. These would work at any age, but you may have to simplify them for the younger ages.

Fifteen unique conversation starters to engage your child:

  1. What is the nicest thing I have ever done for you?
  2. What is one time I really hurt your feelings?
  3. When you pray, what do you picture God to look like?
  4. How can I pray for you today? Why?
  5. What are your biggest fears? 
  6. If you could go a in a time machine, where would you go and why?
  7. What is the most important decision you will ever make?
  8. What do you want to be known for?
  9. What would you like to get better at? 
  10. What do you wish others knew about you?
  11. What would your ideal husband or wife be like?
  12. If you could be in any movie, which one and why?
  13. Who is your favorite uncle or aunt? Cousin? What qualities make them your favorite?
  14. If you could have Mom or Dad do anything with you (within reason), what would it be and why?
  15. If you have $100 to help somebody in need, how would you spend it?
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9 thoughts on “How to engage your child in meaningful conversation: 15 unique questions to ask your child

      1. I really only have two each summer who are old enough to answer. The other ones live nearby or are too young for this. But I’m going to take time with them all to talk to them. This was a really great post!

        Like

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